Wednesday 25 April 2012

Growthession

...though it may be technically true to say that we're not seeing what most people would be inclined to call growth, it is also the case that we're not seeing contraction in a truly recessionistic sense. We are then in a state of growthession which is in many ways extremely encouraging. Where other economies are suffering because they haven't dealt with the deficit, the big bad deficit, the deficit that  you, me and Mother Shipton's aunt are incredibly scared of ...BOO! DEFICIT!...yes, that bad...we here in the UK are dealing with it and that's why I'm pleased to say we're in this immensely pleasing state of growthession.

Though it's true to say that some of the results coming through are disappointing. I have no idea, for example, why the construction industry is not just getting on constructing. That's a great shame. And I'm going to ask them to do something about that. Yes. And it really is a bit of a mystery to me as to why things aren't moving along a little faster than I would like. But they're not slowing down as fast either. In fact, it's all slow. Which is not as bad as fast. Fast would be very bad. Nearly as bad as the DEFICIT! Oh there it is again. Woooooooo!

Anyway, unemployment is growing nicely, which is no bad thing. Though one of the figures that came through suggested that this means we're spending more which means more DEFICIT - and if people are out of work they're not paying taxes which means we're getting less income. You see it's not easy this thing. Here I am trying to make the UK a haven for slave-owners and I find that it's costing us a lot of money to enable that to happen.

Could I finish by saying that Jeremy was a great colleague and friend and we shall miss him greatly. Indeed.